Saturday 3 September 2011

Normal Teen To Pageant Queen

My first beauty pageant. Why submit myself to scrutiny by a group of skinny, tall and bitchy girls you may ask? Well, whilst at Move It (Performing Arts and Dance convention in Olympia - lots of things happen there don't they?) I ran into TeenQueen UK's booth. After leaving a headshot and details I was contacted a few weeks later where I sent a bodyshot and some info about myself - what charities I supported, hobbies, etc. Sometime in April, I was asked to go to a photoshoot.
Free hair, makeup and pictures done professionally? Yes please. So off I went to NW5 studios in Kentish Town. A few outfits later (including white t-shirt and jeans, evening wear and a bikini) I had some great photos. The man who showed me them said that I would probably get into the voting stage and should start my campaign to get as many votes as possible.



True to his word, I appeared in the next Semi Final Heat in May. My quest for votes began. The votes did cost money - with a percentage going to charity, so I knew I had to really crack on and persuade eveyone that I was worth 75p plus their standard network message rate. Posters were made, as were Facebook groups and events of "Vote For Me To Be Teen Queen" and, with tremendous effort (and my family's hearts in their mouths) I won my heat with over 1,200 votes.



In July an information pack came saying well done and explaining the competition and the charity fundraising I would do in August (I eventually raised £115). Before long I had my profile online updated with pictures and a short bio. I quickly checked my competition and tried to ignore the grammatical and spelling errors.

Jump to September 1st - press day. Arriving at 12 noon at Alexandra Palace after a hectic and stressful drive I got given my Teen Queen t-shirt, changed into my white jeans and was ready. (My makeup had been applied by myself in the car and earlier that morning I had a minor hair cut and wash where the stylist straightened it out beautifully). I had a very unpromising start when the head of Teen Queen's first words to me were "You're the bane of my life - oh don't take it personally! You have almost the same name as another girl." Screwed already.



Several pictures were taken with the previous winners and a woman off the TV series "Made In Chelsea". The sun was really bright that day and my eyes watered so much it looked like I was crying at one point. Bearing in mind my body temperature is also higher than normal, wearing a black tee and skinny white jeans didn't really help. The next few were taken with girls holding signs with slogans that said things like "Mad about charity", "Beat the bullies", "Brains and beauty" and "No to size 0". This didn't seem like the production staff had a good idea of what was going on with the girls entered due to their creative writing on their online profiles and that the majority of them were stick thin.


Two girls were in tears already about mix ups in their age categories, and everyone was expecially bored when some of the princesses were learning a dance and everyone else was left to their own devices. There were also quite a lot of angry parents later when we were left waiting outside in the sun for our free, complimentary Fake Bake spray tan (one of the sponsors) with nothing such as a glass of water, after last minute changes meant we would have it here, rather than at the hotel. Normally I don't have a problem with being an warm white caucasian but hey, free fake tan. The whole contest was about making me have new experiences so why not? Many of the girls had been on holiday already and were darker than usual, or had a fake tan beforehand, but were still up for getting another one.When it was my turn, I wasn't exactly given much instruction but copied the other girls; many were just covering up by holding their bikini top on them or just with sticky pads and pants. One was walking outside positively green (not with envy, but an oxidation reaction I suppose).

The booths were open and many, particularly the older girls had chosen to go topless to avoid dodgy tan lines. With a strapless evening dress, I thought this was maybe my better option, so off my halter bikini top went. (It was halter because I was the contestant with the biggest bouncy friends.) Typically my booth was right next to the queue so the girls could just stand there and watch Mii-Tan and Hii-Tan (their names by the way) be covered in a cold blast of brown pigment. My specially bought thong meant that my natural colouring would be reduced to a tiny little section of my lower half and the lady made me do many different positions to try and give me an even cover. At the same time it gave those waiting of those being sprayed at the front more of a show I suppose. A good thing almost then when my back side was sprayed as I would hate to see their reactions to my cellulite.



Not knowing that the tanning was going to be in Ally Pally, I only had the clothes I came in, so wore them (still bra-less and in my thong, which I didn't feel as I was past my pain threshold after wearing heels for several hours) in the taxi shared with two other girls - both tall, thin and blonde - and their parents. I do believe I was in a state of shock at seeing the colour I had turned which made me look like a different ethnic minority. A cross between Native American and Indian. My reaction was perfectly calm compared to my Grandmother's who almost spat out her orange juice and my Mother's who burst out into uncontrollable laughter in the hotel room taking pictures of my new race for 'precious memories'. I didn't even bother changing for dinner.



Ah, dinner. I had three courses being absolutely starving - soup, tacos and a marbled chocolate brownie. I must have a thing for funny waiters as we had a man who did not speak very good English. When he brought over my taco fillings and nothing else, I asked if I could have the tacos aswell. He smiled brightly and headed off after saying "Ok, no problem!" and promptly handed me a spoon. To cut a long story short I eventually got my tacos. My Mum meanwhile got given a yellow cheesecake (obviously not the raspberry and white chocolate flavour she ordered) and asked which flavour it was. The waiters superior looked at her for a while and said, "It's cheesecake" before walking off. I saw other girls from other tables watching me eat - always a little unerving - and saw one almost gasp in horror when I ordered dessert. Funny times.

By now I had gone even darker. Trying not to think what I would look like in the morning, I went to sleep on a lovely queen sized (haha, pun!) bed with a choice of four different pillows. The only bad thing is I kept waking up every few hours thinking I had to turn over otherwise my face would be a different colour each side due to uneven tan if it rubbed off. Surprisingly - only a small amount was left on the bedsheets in the morning.



Getting up at six O Clock almost killed me, and when I looked in the mirror I was almost finished off. I'd gone darker still, green in several places such as my underms and it looked like I had several angry red spots and patches of dry skin forming. HALLELUJAH! It all washed off in the shower, leaving me only two shades darker than I naturally am. A bit of an anti-climax. Even with the spray tan I was still much lighter than the other girls who looked like they had spent a month in the Bahamas on holiday.

Breakfast was another staring round when I had not only fruit but... *gasp* toast and egg as well.
I'll skip the details until we actually got onto the hired bus that would take us to Ally Pally to begin our day. Getting on quickly meant that I could choose a ground level seat and not have to lug my bag and prom dress upstairs. I had a lovely talk with the girl who sat next to me, and my insight into a teenage beauty queen's life began. I will not use the girls real names, and make up ones for them instead. Anyway, Tiffany laughed as she told me that her dentist had advised her not to use any more tooth whitening gel as it could make her teeth drop out. Hilarious...

We got off the bus twice; one where we did it naturally, the other after we were told to get on again and be filmed 'looking like we were having fun'. Looking like the bus ride was the most thrilling thing I had ever done, I smiled brightly into the camera and climbed the steps as the event organizer looked on saying happily "We had a feature in The Sun today!"


I was given my contestant number (a piece of bright pink card with 47 printed in black) and sung Happy Birthday with everyone to one of the princesses. She was given 3 cakes "to share". With the 80+ girls wandering about backstage, I wondered how long they would last as surprising fact number two - the skinny girls ate a lot of sweets and junk food. We were put through our paces with sequences of walks to remember and a lot of standing about, luckily this time wearing flat and comfy shoes. The dress rehearsal went by quite quickly, however just as I was coming onstage for the last event (mock award giving) I heard two ladies call my name. Leaving the line going on, I and three other girls were told that because our stories were 'inspirational' (by this I take it they meant that being Autistic and in a competition like this was 'inspirational') some members from The Sun would like to have interviews and pictures with us, and they warned us to be careful what we said - that our words may be twisted and manipulated slightly, and on that positive note we went back to rehearsals. Considering that communication is a massive part in creating a pagaent, I was pretty shocked when the organiser started to bristle at us asking "Where have you been?" We explained and she let us go, muttering something. We where also stopped by the choreographer and her assistant who were angry that we didn't let them know before we went. That nobody told them this would happen was pretty sad, and that a few 18 year olds and one 19 year old were out of their sight for a few seconds must have clearly upset them. One said "Tell us next time - you've missed a lot". When I got onstage, everyone was still in exactly the same positions as before, also like the 3 times we'd practiced - I didn't know how I'd ever catch up... JOKE! I have braincells.



Carrying on with the day - dress rehearsals finished and the hair and make up people arrived. I actually wanted to cry when I saw the queues. Dinner was pizza, pasta, chips, sandwiches and dodgy looking fruit, so I decided to have some of that first. I particularly enjoyed the "No Men Allowed Past This Point" signs on the other side of the doors. My makeup was done fairly quickly as I chose the smallest queue. The lady there was very nice and explained that she was a recent graduate who decided to follow a career in makeup after taking graphics at University. She had heard that the pageant circuit had some good employment opportunities. She also suggested that I didn't need much makeup, and even then, mainly in earthy tones such as greens and browns (this matched my dress too so I was perfectly happy). During this time, Alicia the photographer for The Sun arrived and took some 'action shots' of me getting ready for her article. I loved my makeup - the eyeliner made my eyes look a cool almond shape - I'm not a vain person who wears makeup everyday but I do enjoy dressing up and looking nice every now and then.

Interesting fact (I've lost count): These girls are LOADED. One had a pair of heels that alone were worth £110. And she had a different pair for each outfit.

Then came my interview with The Sun. I believe it went well especially when compared to the others - Alexandra (a plus size model against size 0) was asked is she had "always been plump" whilst Trixie had been asked if she wanted to "be just like Amy Childs" when she said she wanted to be a beautician. I was just asked to talk about my education, by school life and my thoughts on the competition. It had its perks - I got to go to the front of the hair queue for taking time out to speak with the press, and I was so happy that I had gorgeous curls put it. One of the presenters pushed in the queue because her already perfect hair wasn't high enough for her liking. Diva. Meanwhile, some of the girls had waited for over 2 hours. Even the previous winners were slotted in before the contestants. Considering that it was their time to shine now I felt that the priorities of the producers were slightly wrong. Alicia was snapping away and afterwards took pictures of me in my Teen Queen tshirt and white jeans. My curls would probably fall out after a while so I used an extra spritz of hairspray whist Tiffany took out product after product from a small bag when we were both brushing our teeth in the toilets. Interesting fact: almost of of the girls hair is either fake or damaged. Trixie took out all of her extensions to be styled whilst even Connie's hair was dyed and dry due to lots of heat being used. Prudence had a weave fitted and my hair was probably the most untouched and natural. I felt alot better about my 'boring' brunette locks.

The start of the contest was delayed due to the judges not having had finished their dinner.
Finally, after a day of waiting it began.

The next few hours went particularly quickly and I don't remember them much only I did my best to strut down the catwalk, in heels, smiling and flashing my number at the judges. My mother later told me they ticked off the boxes on my sheet so I must have been doing something right. My walking partner had a bit of trouble keeping in time with the music and remembering to get in line but I still walked to the best of my ability. Disaster struck during the eveningwear round where my shoe half came off. Luckily I was to the side and managed to kick it off and pick it up without too much disruption.



The picture bellow is not me, but I'm on the screen sneaking in on someone elses catwalk XD



Naturally I didn't win. Waaaaay too short (amongst other things). The only section I stood a chance at (Miss Fresh Faced Queen) was ditched for this year so I wasn't too surprised when I left the stage empty handed. I did however manage to borrow my friend Raahi's crown and have a quick picture with it. The girls who won were your typical pageant contenders - ridiculously tall and tanned. The anouncement was delayed further; probably because the judges hadn't finished dessert we guessed.

My mother told me all about her fun time to the event hearing about Trixie's life when sharing a cab with her exceedingly loquacious mother. I got a free goody bag, good luck cards and a purple pair of heels and a lovely Lipsy London dress. Yes - Teen Queen was a money spinning venture but I certanly don't regret taking part. I made loads of great friends and great memories and had wanted to take part in something like this for years. I was totally exhausted and slept most of Saturday.



Of course I would have loved a sash and tiara, but I was never going to be the judges idea of a pageant queen - I don't even have a name like Annabelle or Cynthia. I hope attitudes change in the future. I feel like the worlds unluckiest loser when it comes to competitions - first Kawaii Star, now Teen Queen, however hopefully that will make it all the more sweeter when I eventually win.

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